nugget #11

This was a piece I wrote a very long time ago.

 

 

Checkers AC fields two teams in Sunday’s foot-bike-canoe race in Auburn

By Bill Donnelly

As appeared in The Buffalo Rocket

Wednesday, August 9, 1978

The Checkers Athletic Club, named after the famous meeting hall of the Belle Watling AC, is training two teams to compete in a unique relay race to be held this weekend in Auburn, NY.  The four person teams, one entirely women, the other men, will be competing in a variety of activities.

The first member of each team will lead off by running five miles.  The next member must then pedal a bike for 20 miles.  The final leg of the race will be the two remaining members teaming up in a canoe and paddling four miles.

The Checkers women’s team will be led off by Barbara Halm, then Sharon Caher on bike, and the sister team of Martha Dragoo and Nancy Miesczak in the canoe.  The men will have Alex Trammell running, Randy Halm and Mike Miesczak canoeing, and an ace cyclist on the bike.

In order to prepare for the race and generally get team members better acquainted, Alex and Mary Trammell threw a bit of a get-together this past Friday evening.  The party, attended by team members and friends, included a wine-tasting contest, swimming, a canoeing demonstration and fashion show.

The wine-tasting competition was held during a lovely 13 course dinner.  It is rumored that for desert the table setting was designed by the defensive front-four of the Green Bay Packers.

Dinner was followed by swimming, with Alex being first in the pool.  The fashion show was held during the swimming.  Martha Dragoo, Nancy Miesczak, Barbara Halm, Sue Jordan and Mary Trammell all modeled the latest in swimwear.

Later in the evening, Mike Miesczak gave a demonstration in canoeing.  Mike showed the proper way to place a 19 foot canoe in a 20 foot pool, how to enter the canoe from the diving board, and how to make quick tight turns.

Other entertainment was provided by Randy Halm, who stayed at the piano much of the evening.  Joe Jordan, titular head of Checkers AC, did magic tricks, including his very popular disappearing act.

Tom Donnelly was the token Belle Watling invited to the party, thus insuring the party’s success.  Tom and Alex Trammell staged a brief foot race along

Summit Ave.

for the guests.

Mr. Donnelly and Mr. Trammell were also involved in a type of shoving contest involving a door.  It was reported the door lost. 

Being athletes in training who must get up by 6 a.m. in order to work out, 1 a.m. marked the end of the party.  It is untrue that the wail of sirens heading towards Summit had anything to do with the party’s breaking up.

The above article, which appeared on page 10 of The Buffalo Rocket, was inspired when my brother, Bill Donnelly’s brother Tom Donnelly, told me all about the party he had gone to the night before, which was Friday, August 4.  I probably wheedled it out of him when I noticed he was looking mighty green around the gills, if you know what I mean.  It was quite a tale, and I knew I had to write about it for the Rocket, whose editor was Sharon Caher, a friend of mine and a participant at the party. 

I had already written a few things for her and she was interested in me trying my hand out in writing something more along the lines of the society columns which appeared in The Courier Express and The Buffalo Evening News.  Sharon figured the readership of her paper (both of them) would love to know what was happening in the High Society of North Buffalo, and what says High Society more than a Checkers AC party?

I took the facts as they had been related to me by Tom and put them into the language of the society columnist.  I learned this special, almost secret code when I took a journalism course at Buffalo State a few years before.  Swear on a Bible!  Society folk like their goings-on written in a code only they know so we peons cannot really know what is happening at their high-falutin parties.  Like we really care.   

Unless you are a member of High Society (Is their blood really Blue?) you probably do not know how to read between the lines of such columns, for why would you have ever bothered to read them.  So for you readers of the Checkers Chatter (all three of you) who have regular red blood, I will decode the above article.  I will put what I wrote in italics followed by what it means in bold print.  Read on if you care.

·        The Checkers Athletic Club, named after the famous meeting hall of the Belle Watling AC – This is just for those of you who didn’t know this little known fact.

·        The men will have Alex Trammell running, Randy Halm and Mike Miesczak canoeing, and an ace cyclist on the bike. – The ace cyclist was Jimmy Lanz, but since he wasn’t a runner or a member of Checkers at the time, why include his name.  He’s not part of Our Crowd!

·        Alex and Mary Trammell threw a bit of a get-together this past Friday evening. – Their folks were out of town, and since they (the folks) had a swimming pool at their fancy/smancy house, Alex and Mary had the party there.

·        included a wine-tasting contest, swimming, a canoeing demonstration and fashion show. – I’ll get to each of these items.

·        The wine-tasting competition was held during a lovely 13 course dinner. – There was a whole snot-locker full of wine consumed at the beautifully laid out dinning room table.

·        It is rumored that for desert the table setting was designed by the defensive front-four of the Green Bay Packers. – By the end of the meal, empty wine bottles were everywhere, and the table was a mess.

·        Dinner was followed by swimming, with Alex being first in the pool. – The drunken louts threw poor Alex into the pool fully clothed.

·        The fashion show was held during the swimming.  Martha Dragoo, Nancy Miesczak, Barbara Halm, Sue Jordan and Mary Trammell all modeled the latest in swimwear. – The dames, being a bit sloshed and hot on this August evening, stripped down to their skivvies, joined in the swimming, and got wet.

·        Later in the evening, Mike Miesczak gave a demonstration in canoeing.  Mike showed the proper way to place a 19 foot canoe in a 20 foot pool, how to enter the canoe from the diving board, and how to make quick tight turns. – After enough wine, why not get the canoe off the car and start paddling around the pool with it.  Swear on a Bible!

·        Other entertainment was provided by Randy Halm, who stayed at the piano much of the evening. – Having helped throw Alex into the pool, Randy hid under the piano to keep the same thing from happening to him.

·        Joe Jordan, titular head of Checkers AC, did magic tricks, including his very popular disappearing act .- Pretty much the same as with Randy, only no one knew where Joe hid.

·        Tom Donnelly was the token Belle Watling invited to the party, thus insuring the party’s success. – This goes without saying, but society columnists are known to be long-winded.

·        Tom and Alex Trammell staged a brief foot race along

Summit Ave.

for the guests. – Tom was in his underwear by now, as was Alex, and Alex actually chased Tom down Summit in an effort to throw him into the pool.  The neighbors loved it I’m sure.

·        Mr. Donnelly and Mr. Trammell were also involved in a type of shoving contest involving a door.  It was reported the door lost. – Tom tried hiding from Alex in a bedroom, and when discovered, Alex broke the door down getting at Tom.  Swear on a Bible!  Joe Jordan, who was under the bed, saw it all.

·        Being athletes in training who must get up by 6 a.m. in order to work out, 1 a.m. marked the end of the party. – The wine ran out early.

·        It is untrue that the wail of sirens heading towards Summit had anything to do with the party’s breaking up. - The wine ran out early.

            So now you know the rest of the story.  I gave it to Sharon, and she was able to confirm everything that I wrote was true, since she had been there, and being a newspaper editor, she fully understood the secret language of the society column.  Yet she did give it to her husband, Jim Caher, a lawyer who was Deputy Corporation Council for the city of Buffalo.  Once he read it through carefully to make sure The Buffalo Rocket could not be sued for libel or slander, he gave it the thumbs up, and the article was printed.

            Let me tell you, it was so well received by almost everyone.  That is, everyone who was not at the party.  Most of the party goers took it good naturedly, at least my brother did.  A couple people were a bit put off, and there are those who haven’t spoken to me since.  As most of these folks are not in Checkers anymore, I finally feel safe putting the article out there again.

            I was never asked to write another society column again.  I just don’t understand it.  And what’s more, I’ve never been invited to a party at Alex and Mary Trammell’s parent’s house, ever!  Not even for a pool party!  Swear on a Bible!